


I Wasn't Good Enough For You

by galaxygayboy



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, I dont know how to tag, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Sad Ending, Suicide, Woops, brian is a good boyfriend, depressed jae, feels like a terrible boyfriend, hes really depressed, i wrote this while really depressed, jae is sad, kinda emo, more than sad, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 08:51:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14185323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxygayboy/pseuds/galaxygayboy
Summary: Jae feels like a terrible boyfriend and never gets to say goodbye





	I Wasn't Good Enough For You

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: suicide, depression and anxiety. i wrote this when i was really depressed so its kinda emo and makes me cry. also; jaehyungparkian owns my whole ass (this is also my first fic so oof)

The cold wind whistled harshly. Cars drove quickly on the streets below. Jae looked down and gulped. His legs were dangling over the edge and his cheeks stained red. Tears still streaming down his burning face, he used his shaking hands to hoist himself up. He now stood, peering over at the unaware world below. He couldn't help but stare and think. Think about how he will never see the man he loves again.

_Brian._

They had been dating for 3 years and Jae hates himself for having left it this long. If he had done it sooner, it would've hurt less. He knew this was the right thing to so. It must be. he kept slipping up and making mistakes. It wasn't fair on Brian. Brian doesn't deserve him, he deserves better. For years Jae had felt like a terrible boyfriend, he kept doing the wrong thing and then accepting Brian's forgiveness. Forgiveness he didn't deserve. He couldn't keep trapping Brian like this. He couldn't keep Brian back anymore. Jae winces thinking about about the number of times Brian has had to call in sick from work to look after him when his depression peeked. Brian had reassured Jae it wasn't a problem, that Jae was going to get better, that everything would get better. But Jae knew better than to believe that.

Jae was stopping Brian from living. He had to do this. For Brian. As punishment for doing this to him. As punishment for ruining three years of Brians life. Three years Brian would never get back. Brian didn't know what he was getting himself into when they started dating. Jae felt at fault for that. Jae should've told Brian to leave after he found him in the bathroom after being missed for half an hour on their second date. Jae couldn't control his anxiety and, when the restaurant Brian chose had been particularly noisy, it pushed Jae off the edge. He had been in the bathroom bawling his eyes out and trying to catch his breath when Brian found him. Jae should've cut it off then. He should've told Brian to run for the hills and never look back. Brian didn't deserve to have to deal with Jae, he was just a burden. Instead Jae said nothing. He sat still and watched as Brian sat down on the floor beside him and put an arm around his shoulder before giving him a tissue and calmly asking what was wrong. Jae didn't deserve someone as amazing as Brian. All he was was an inconvenience. 

So here he was, stood on the edge of the tallest building in Seoul, ready to say goodbye to everything. Jae blinked back the thought that Brian might be looking for him. He told Brian he was going out to pick up some ramen, a job that usually only took 15 minutes. But 2 hours had passed and Jae still wasn't home yet. He purposely left his phone at home to resist picking up any calls he might have received. 

Jae looked down one more time before closing his eyes. He though 'goodbye world, goodbye to the only man I've ever loved'. He whispered ''goodbye Brian, this is for the best, I promise. I love you." 

Just then, Jae jumped off the edge, making those words his last.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you all suffered reading that :^), this cool person actually wrote a sequel for this fic about brians reaction that you can read here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14289951


End file.
